When I first started spending time in China, I quickly realized that I wasn’t just learning a language or chasing the perfect slice of Peking duck, I was stepping into a completely different way of seeing the world. Chinese culture is deep, layered, and full of symbolism. While in the West we often try to simplify things, in China they love to give everything a meaning. Whether it’s the number of your apartment, the color of an envelope, or even where you sit at dinner, it all matters. Understand it, and life becomes a lot easier. Miss it, and you might find a door (or three) quietly closing on you.

Lucky Numbers

Let me start with number 4 — the unlucky number in Chinese culture. Why? Because it sounds almost exactly like the word for “death” (sì 死). As a result, many buildings skip the 4th floor entirely. Not just the 4th — often the 14th, 24th, and so on. It’s like a game of architectural hide-and-seek. What’s funny is that I only realized this after years of living in China.

You see, I always seemed to end up in apartments on the 4th, 14th, or 24th floors. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but later I understood: those floors were usually empty or avoided by locals, which made the rent cheaper. Chinese tenants simply didn’t want to live there, so I got a better deal. At the time, I thought I was just lucky with prices.

On the other hand, there’s number 8, the golden child of Chinese numerology. It sounds like fa, as in “发财” (facai – to get rich), and is considered a symbol of wealth, success, and prosperity. If your phone number has lots of eights, or your wedding date falls on the 8th of August (8.8.), you’re pretty much guaranteed good fortune.

Red: Not Just a Color, But a Statement

If someone hands you a red envelope in China, you’re probably being celebrated. Red is the color of joy, luck, and celebration. Weddings, Chinese New Year, birthdays, all are soaked in red. But don’t bring it to a funeral, that’s a big no-no. There, white takes over, which is the color of mourning.
One of my favorite “red” memories was during Chinese New Year. The entire city glowed with lanterns, decorations, banners, … And yes, I wore my red dress too.

Dining Etiquette: It’s Not Just a Meal

If you’ve ever been to a formal Chinese dinner, you’ll know that the seating arrangement is no accident. The host sits facing the entrance, and guests are placed according to rank or status.
And yes, the art of the toast. When someone toasts you with baijiu (strong liquor), you stand up. If their glass is lower than yours, it shows respect. If you return the favor by holding your glass lower- even better. But if you just drink silently? You’ve missed the entire game.

Guanxi: The Invisible Web That Moves Everything

If I had to choose one word that captures the essence of how things work in China, it would be guanxi (关系). It’s not just networking — it’s a lifelong relationship currency built on trust, mutual favors, and loyalty. It’s the glue that holds both business and personal life together.
A small favor, a big return. In China, people don’t forget kindness. But don’t expect a quick reward – it might take years. When it does come, though, it usually comes with interest.

The Gift-Giving Game: What’s In (and Definitely Out)

If you’re ever invited to someone’s home or attending a meeting in China, bring a gift, but choose it wisely. Gift-giving is a serious cultural affair and full of hidden dos and don’ts.

Good gift ideas? Absolutely, a bottle of quality Slovenian wine is a great start, especially if it’s something rare or from a boutique vineyard. Honey is also a big hit, especially if it’s homemade or comes in beautiful packaging. Local delicacies, premium teas, or artisanal items from your region are usually appreciated, especially if they come with a story.

What to avoid?

Clocks (zhong 钟) symbolize the end of life. Sharp objects like knives or scissors imply cutting ties. White flowers are usually reserved for funerals. And definitely don’t give anything in sets of four, for the same reason we avoid the number altogether.
If in doubt, go with something thoughtful, tasteful, and ideally not mass-produced. And remember: always present the gift with both hands, it shows respect.

In the End…

China has taught me that nothing is just what it seems. Numbers tell stories. Colors express emotion. Meals are layered with subtle messages. Gifts speak louder than words. And relationships — real ones — are everything.
You don’t need to know every rule to get along in China. But if you understand a few, you’re already ahead. And if you come with a bit of curiosity, respect, and humility, you’re well on your way to building strong guanxi.